I'm a ranter. I like to have a rant, and I think that’s healthy. People that don't regularly express how they feel, be that verbally or physically, will probably end up viewing their own gut tube from the inside, via their behind. Some people, I'm sure, deem it as a bad quality to have, making the ranter a blunt, self-obsessed, nightmare... but we ranters are not! Besides, I find it funny, and quite frankly, I think I'd spontaneously combust without it. Anyway, here’s two things that ground my gears/got my goat/tickled my balls today.
Favouritism
In a society so obsessed with banning the 'ism's and 'phobia's, it’s surprising that favouritism survives, and is deemed normal by all. I'm not talking the sort of favouritism in which a bride chooses her best friend to be a bridesmaid instead of the girl who poured a vat of pig’s blood over her head in high school in attempt to recreate the film Carey; I'm talking about favouritism in which everyone’s on par. It's the favouritism when a person or group of people pick from a group of other equally matched people to do some form of job, or attend some form of gathering, based not on their ability, work ethic, friendship ethic, or likewise, but based on what said initial person or group of people can gain from them - be it a party invite, a smile they wouldn't have received in the first place, gratification, or a foot up the social ladder. It seems that the adult world, and I've noticed it in many walks of life, are still picking for the hockey team, something that sent shudders down every geek’s spine during P.E. The point is, why try hard to do your best, if your best will never beat favouritism? Self-gratification? Maybe. All I know is, the many of us that got picked last for the netball team (It happened once, I hasten to add, but the only time teams were picked) will be crouching tigers. Waiting to pounce when you least expect it.
Happy Advertising
Who thinks of the adverts that are so awkwardly wrong? I'd like to have their job, because, being the said blunt person that I am, I'd at least try not to false advertise in such a Disney-esque way. For example: adverts aimed at women, particularly those menstruating. These adverts are definitely written by men. Now, panty liners are a great invention, and have saved many women from the surprise spotting we so hate. But please, do not tell me that wearing said brand's panty liner is like wearing a fresh pair of knickers. Have you made said panty liner from cotton? No. Similarly, does a fresh pair of knickers feel like wearing a small piece of card between your thighs? No. Because that’s how it feels Mr. Advertiser. Similarly, is the sanitary towel advert that suggests I could do all manner of things in their sanitary towel. Again, clearly written by a man, or a menopausal woman who has clearly forgotten the fact that all sanitary towels, despite their many benefits, feel like nappies. The last straw for women grasping on to their sexiness during that 'time of the month'.
On a lighter false advertising note, I genuinely believed (to my boyfriend's delight) that the new Magnum grew back after the first bite. I tried to justify it, by contriving a theory that there was some sort of foaming mousse that would create the illusion that the ice cream grew back. I was disappointed when I discovered I was wrong, but definitely feel that there’s a gap in the market...
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